The Close of 2011

As another year is coming to an end it's time to reflect on where I started 2011 and where I'm finishing it.

I DID read my Bible through in a year! In fact I finished it at 4:48 p.m. on Sunday, November 6th - 24 days early! What an amazing accomplishment this was for me. Not just for me but for my family. The way that the word has helped me to grow this year has been amazing. Sure, I'm not perfect nor will I ever be, but this is the start of a life long growing session through the word of God and with God beside me.

I didn't lose the weight I had hoped to in 2011. There was just too much going on for me to mess with trying to diet with two small children in the house let alone find time for exercise which didn't require them jumping on me on the floor. But, this has to change in 2012. I'm at my heaviest to date and I'm simply tired of it. Having to buy new clothes, in bigger sizes, is just not fun and enjoyable. I'm heavier then when I gave birth to both of my kids and that alone has to say something! So I've joined up with www.myfitnesspal.com which is in essence the free version of Weight Watchers and I'm going to Zumba on Monday nights (hoping to add a second session in the week somewhere) with my mom. With a wedding coming up in September I at least have a date to help me set my goals to!

Our financial situation did improve some but I wouldn't say that we went through the financial revival that we had hoped for. We are more aware of where our money is going and how quickly it can get out of hand. We are again regrouping and will figure out a tighter, more monitored, budget for 2012. Not only to get debt paid down but hopefully allowing me the opportunity to stay at home after this next year. It's our goal to either #1 home school the children or #2 have the means of sending them to a private Christian school. To do either requires that I be home.  With the help of my new Thirty One business I'm hoping to continue to reach consistent sales levels and also build my team so that while we do have a goal for me to be home, I can still help provide an income. Even if it's just extra money.

Josh also finished reading his Bible in a year and that was equally amazing. He has grown into such an awesome man of God that there are times I just sit back and look at him in awe and wonder. Knowing just where he's come from and how far he's come, to know that he is on fire for the Lord and for the work of His kingdom....there is nothing in this life that could make me prouder of him. I love him so much! Our year may have started off rough, a rebuilding of our marriage and relationship as a whole but I really couldn't love him more!

We didn't get Abby out of diapers like I thought we would in 2011 but I know it'll happen in 2012. She's doing a great job of doing it on her own that I fear to push her and try to train her will be met with more resistance and accidents. She's very head strong, independent and opinionated.....like her momma. So it's best to let her do what she's doing on her own for right now.

Plans for 2012:
1. Study the Bible - I will continue to read in my Bible daily but my focus for this year is not just reading to read, or reading to complete, but rather reading to learn and grow. This will be easier to do now that I have my new Study Bible. I'm already learning and I just got it over the weekend!
2. Lose about 40 pounds - I know it sounds a little crazy but I was overweight at 150 pounds. Now that I'm almost 175 pounds it's time to get back to what is considered a normal and healthy weight for my height!
3. Continue to grow my Thirty One business - make more contacts, pray more diligently about the work God would have me to do, book more parties, build my team, etc.
4. Pay off our credit cards (again), our Springleaf account and our Kirby. These three alone should help to save us a good little bit of pocket change. Probably not enough for me to stay home but it's a starting point. Maybe in June we'll regroup and plan for more. But I'd rather not deal with overkill when it comes to paying off our debt. We still have to live!
5. Become a more diligent seeker of prayer - as the Bible says we ought to "pray without ceasing." May I continue to pray for those in our church, in our community, for needs as they arise but also to pray without ceasing. To stop just praying once but praying often, as often as the thought comes to mind, praying until something happens! Until the prayer is answered!

Wow!

I cannot believe that the last time I posted was March 22. Here we are on November 3rd and finally my days are slowing down a bit allowing me time to sit and put my words out there.

So much has happened this year already. My husband has become a soul-winner for Christ. It's been amazing watching him go out for door-to-door visitations every Saturday when he's available. Because of this I've also volunteered to watch children in the nursery at the church so that other moms and dads can go out as well. The more people going out for door-to-door vistations the more people we get the gospel to.

Ethan has started his second year of preschool and is doing so much better adjusting than last year. I love listening to him when I pick him up from school and he tells me what they've done that day. He's also moved to a new room for Sunday School and Junior Church (happened when he turned 3) and he's growing in the Lord through their teaching and instruction. To hear your miracle child, your firstborn after the world said it as impossible, starts quoting scripture and singing you Bible songs - you can't help but thank God for his goodness.

Abby just turned 2, I still cannot believe that she's 2 already. Then again, she's very much like me - she's 2 going on 20 it seems. She's so instinctually smart and caring that I sometimes catch myself looking at her and envisioning the day when she becomes a mom. She already likes to be the boss, she loves her babies and she's so nurturing for someone so small. Her vocabulary range amazes us all, I don't know that I've ever met a 2 year old who could speak in sentences and sing songs the way she can. She loves her brother and he loves her. It's my daily prayer that they remain this close all throughout their lives.

We haven't really seen our goal of financial revivial come true this year but it doesn't mean we've lost hope. We just need to put together a more structured budget, one that is attainable and that we can agree on as a family then put it into motion. I started selling for Thirty One Gifts in late June and have seen the true income earning potential when I apply myself fully. So it's my goal to continue to do just that. The extra income should help us meet more of our goals in 2012 then we did in 2011.

Update on my bible reading - I haven't given up! For the first time in almost 30 years I am just 46 chapters away from being able to say "I READ MY BIBLE IN A YEAR!" Now that it's so close I have so much more drive to finish it and get my name up on the wall at church. I can taste it. It's been such a tremendous blessing to. I've found so many of the verses that we hear quoted often, I've learned so many of the bible stories that I've read in shortened version to my children and I feel such a calm and peace within my soul over being fed by the bread of life, the word of God. My goal is to be done before Thanksgiving and with only 46 chapters to go - that's definitely going to happen.

Time is fleeting....

Time is fleeting….

The saying is so true “there just isn’t ever enough time in the day….” We are all given a 24 hour period each and every day; it’s what we do in those 24 hours that helps us see what is most important to us. Do we neglect our time with God for sleep….unfortunately, yes I do. Do we neglect time with God or our families to sit down and watch pointless TV….again, yes unfortunately we do. Do we neglect our housework and chores to sit around and relax; yes I can say that one too. There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get it all done. I wake up and an hour later am heading out the door with both kids, dressed and ready for the day. I spend 9 hours at work (includes my one hour lunch period) and then drive to get the kids and to our house we go. Then comes the time to cook/prepare dinner for the family, get us all down and fed, bath time, play time and whew….it’s time for bed already!

A typical day in the life of the Edens family is enough to wear anyone out, there is no doubt about that but this is just one more area of our lives that we are hoping to find balance in. I need to work out, read my Bible, take time in prayer and still give my home, my children, my husband and my job my attention and time where it’s needed. I need to find “BALANCE” – that puts it best. I have neglected this blog which was intended to help keep me accountable to spend time in the word, which isn’t a bad thing, but it also doesn’t help me stick to my goal of being accountable if I’m not here. So here are just a few updates:

My goal of reading the Bible through in a year: On target! I am now 370 chapters into my Bible!! This is definitely the farthest I’ve ever gone and I’m very excited that I’m on track for the year. Keeping in mind my year started December 1, not January 1. This includes 23 full books and I’m currently reading in Matthew. I last read Ezra and it was quite difficult to digest and get through so I decided it was time for a pick-me-up New Testament book.

My weight loss goal: suffering tremendously. The diet has long gone out the window, mainly due to not having the finances on a weekly basis to buy the foods I need: fresh fruits and vegetables, etc. And while I haven’t weighed myself in weeks I’m sure that every pound I lost, I have since gained back L I have been trying to exercise once a week at church with my mom and one time a week at home. Hopefully the nicer weather will motivate me to keep moving and keep busy.

Our financial goal: is maybe slightly improving….if I had to give it a score right now anyway. We are actually, for the first time this year, on point to have all of our monthly debt paid in the month it’s due. This is due in large part to our tax return and having the ability to pay some bills for two months (February and March). Let’s hope it’s just the push we need to get back on track. We have two of our four student loan payments on deferment; however, one will come back on the books in May. Yikes!

Potty Training the kids: is a work in progress. We took a few weeks off of trying to train Ethan for the mere fact that it was being more of a hassle and fight to get him to go then it’s worth, kind of counterproductive to what you are trying to do when they are crying and screaming and afraid of going to the bathroom. However, we are back on point and seem to be doing well as long as we stick to the limited drinks and frequent trips to the bathroom. Abby is still doing well on her own, just going when asked or when she takes us in. We are hopeful that with the steps she’s already taking in this journey that we will indeed be completely diaper free (ok maybe not night time) by the end of 2011!

Blessings All Around

Spring is coming, I can feel it in the air, I can hear it with the birds singing in the morning and I can see it with the bright sun shining. Thank you Lord for changes. This being our year of change, Spring is just what I need to be renewed and rejuvenated.

We've been blessed this week already and it's only Tuesday. Sunday night I broke out part of a filling in my tooth and was in some pain because of it. My dentist was able to get me in right away and two hours and a new filling later I was praising God for holding me strong. And not just that but my insurance along should cover half the cost. Half is good in my book. That doesn't include Josh's dental insurance, so praying for His mercies there.

On another note I have to brag on my sweet boy a minute. Ethan started speech therapy on December 20th. We knew we had to act fast with the First Steps program because he only qualifies for services until he turns 3. Well with today being March 1 we are 16 days away from the big 3 (as I sniff). Anyway, since then he's met with his speech therapist (Monica) once a week for an hour. After First Steps is no longer an option it goes to the school system. Ethan and I have spent the past two Monday mornings at Clinton Prairie for his extensive speech evaluation. This is a much bigger test then what First Steps does. At first I was nervous but he really surprised me, even the first day. Fast forward to the phone call today and here are his results. Keeping in mind the average range for his age group is 85-100. Ethan's scores are: vocabulary = 105 (she said he has terrific language), auditory = 98, expressive = 102.......total score 100! So proud of my boy. Thank you God for working through Monica and through his teachers and through us to see him succeed.

And lastly....at least for this post....we accomplished our week long fast from TV and the recreational use of the Internet last week. What a blessing that was. Josh was able to memorize Hebrews 4:12 and recite it to become a member of Lighthouse Baptist Church's Sword Club. So proud of him! I decided we both needed to be challenging each other spiritually from time to time so that was my challenge to him. I knew he could do it. My challenge from Josh was to finish the book of Psalms and start something new. Check, done - I did it! I finished Psalms by Friday night and started Job on the way to church on Saturday morning. I just love where God is taking us.

The Greatest Gift

Driving to work this week I’ve noticed the marquee out in front of Susan Kasper’s State Farm Insurance and thought it was fitting enough to share. It reads “the greatest gift we can give our children, is to love our spouse.” Boy, isn’t that the truth. I know that there have been times in our 13 years together, in our almost 9 year marriage where I’ve taken for granted the relationship with my husband. Times when I didn’t “love” him the way he deserved to be loved and when I feel like I led a poor example to my children on how to love. It’s quite fitting that this spoke to me since the theme for our wedding, and many weddings I’m sure, was 1 Corinthians 13.

Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity enveith not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: not I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

When Josh and I were married this was read out of the NIV so the translation is a little different but the central theme is the same. We are to abide in faith, hope and love. We are to put away our old selves and our selfishness for our spouses so we can grow together in marriage and together in Christ Jesus. We are to endure the hard times and trials of life, coming out together stronger on the other side. We are to see ourselves in open light, to be open and honest at all times, communicating always one to another. The greatest gift we can give our children is not the possessions of this world, it’s to teach them the true meaning of love. The love of Christ, the love of a man for his wife and for his family, the love of a woman to her husband and her family. It’s not about the money we make, the clothes we wear, the houses we live in, the vacations we take, it’s about the love of a family.

Grace will see us through

I’ve been doing a lot of praying lately, a lot of searching for ways to better myself and my walk with God. I know I fall short constantly but I am aiming for more…it’s just a matter of staying the course. We are still struggling week to week financially and while we continue to pray that God will meet our needs and meet us where we are, we also continue to pray for revival. The struggles that we are facing are really no different then so many others, the economy has taken a fall over the past few years and many of us are feeling the effects of that. However, we have God on our side and we hold tight to that knowledge, power and understanding that only He can give us.

Grace seems to be a recurring theme in my life over the last week or so. God’s grace is sufficient for us. It’s by His grace that we are saved, that our sins are forgiven and we can find peace and comfort in His grace. But I loved this; grace is the gift that God gave us. It’s a gift, straight from Him! Man that alone gives me so much comfort. I tell you, there have been so many times lately where I’ve just been so frazzled, so torn over the little things and it just about kills me because I know – hey, this isn’t right, this is Satan saying “a ha, I got you where I want you” and I have to remember that God’s grace is with me.

Ms. Dawn gave a great little message Tuesday night at the Ladies Fellowship; it wasn’t a long message because we had just watched an hour long movie. But what she said stuck with me. We have to be patient and wait on God, He’s in control of His time table and it may not be instant like we always want. Healing isn’t instant, money doesn’t fall from the trees, live may change in the blink of an eye for some but for others it requires waiting. When we feel so discouraged, so troubled and we feel we can’t go on one more second…..that might just have been the second that God has His hand over us waiting to bless us and we missed it all because we gave up the fight.

I have to remember that we didn’t get into this situation over night and we won’t get out of it over night either. I have to stay in this time of trial knowing that God is using this to bless us. It sure may not feel like a blessing right now and yes there are times that I just want to quit, to say we’ve done all we can….oh but wait – there it is again. “We’ve” done all we can, it’s not about us. It’s about Him. He has a plan and purpose in all of this and we (mainly me) need to realize that. I can’t give in, I can’t give up, I can’t quit because I don’t want to miss out on God’s richest blessings. He could, if it was His will, bless us with millions tomorrow (my God is a big God, He really could do that) but would I really see the true victory there or would I take it for granted and run?

I’m in this time of trial to learn from my mistakes. I’m in this time of trial to learn how to be patient and wait upon the Lord. I’m in this time of trial because God is working in me. So rather than complain about it, play the “woe is me” card on myself making me feel sad, abandoned and frustrated with God for not answering my prayers the way I want…..I should instead just focus on saying “thank you God for being here with me, for walking with us through this fire, for refining us that we may shine for You!” So Lord, I thank you! I know you are with me, I feel your presence, and I see you and feel you in the words I read from the book of Psalms. I’m grateful for everything you’ve given me. I have so much to be thankful for and that’s where my focus should be. I love you Lord!

Ok God, I'm listening!

So I got through the day yesterday realizing that my prayers weren’t in vain, it’s just a part of the trials of life and I will persevere…..then comes today! Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers and for slapping me in my face when I needed it most. I got a great wakeup call in the form of not only a daily devotion but also in my daily reading. Talk about the Word of God coming forth at just the time you need it most. I love days like this.

It started with a daily devotion that Josh receives from Old Paths Journal and Brother Allen Domelle. If you’ve never met Allen Domelle, he’s a great evangelist and digs deep into a simple passage of scripture to drive home a message. This morning’s message was called “Where Is God?” and it sums up what I was feeling yesterday to a T. This part really got me:

 “Christian, one of the greatest tests that you will ever face in your Christian walk is to see how long you will continue to do right even when you don't seem to know where God's presence is. There are going to be times in your life when trials are present and you won't be able to find God.  There will be times when you are going through the greatest turmoil of your life and though you will feel that you really need to feel God's presence you will feel all alone. 

It is in these times when you must continue to go forward, for this is part of God's purification process.  Part of God's purification process is to hide Himself from you to see if you will continue doing right when you don't seem to know where He is.  The reason God does this is because this proves to Him if you are real.  This proves to God that you believe doing right is the right thing to do even when God's presence is not felt.  ”

Yes, I feel like I’m walking through this fire alone sometimes but then I realize, He’s always there. He’s counting on me to continue to show my faith through any and all circumstances. As the Pastor said a few weeks ago, it’s when we are in the fire that our true colors show – I fail in this area (finances) every single time. Nothing sets me off like our financial situation and that seems to be drawing plenty of attention from Satan because he keeps using it to attack me on a daily, weekly, monthly and for the last two years – annual basis! What I need to realize most of all is that if God can bring me to it, He will be there with me and He will walk beside me through it all – even when I don’t feel His presence. He is the all knowing, all powerful, mighty God who was and is and is to come. Nothing is too powerful for Him, including helping us to overcome our debt issues.

Then we get into my Bible reading for today. Keep in mind I’m reading through the book of Psalms right now which took me through Chapters 25-32 today. In Psalm 27 I was reminded in verse 1 that I have nothing to fear as the word says “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Then again in Psalm 28 verse 7 reads “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” In these two verses I’m reminded that #1 God IS my strength, He is my help in time of trouble, He is my strength, my light and my salvation. This world may get me down and out but I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, who wants the best for me, who is always with me. What more could I want or need in life aside from that knowledge there. This world is not my home, it’s just my temporary home until I graduate to glory and reside in my final resting place. I can’t take anything of this world with me when I’m gone, why do I let it control me so much?! My biggest issue is always in letting go and letting God. I can give it to Him in prayer and take it right back the next time things come to a head. All I can do is ask for people to keep me accountable and keep me stay grounded in my faith, in my trust and in the Lord.